MVC The Next Chapter

I would love to tell you, that it will be easy, I can’t.

I can ask you, please, to stay close, listen, hear: because forewarned is forearmed.

Plus.

There are aspects: yes: that get better.

First things first:

although alone for much of it, there are people there for you.

Despite that help being ‘in the final hour’ and despite this feeling like it is beyond that final hour:

The.

Help.

Does.

Come.

In that: and I know you hate to hear this (because you can’t, at times, feel it):

you are not, actually: alone. Ever.

Let me tell you about ‘him’. I say him, but I cannot see him, he may well be a her, or both. But there is a presence in your life that never goes anywhere.

He stays there. Permanently.

So let me tell you, as an older version of you who survived: he is, definitely: there.

To show you this, I will tell you a story.

You might already have experienced this, or you might be about to.

I am sitting on the floor of my council flat, cold, no lights, empty stomach.

I feel as if the walls are closing in on me, in their mould ridden darkness and salty musty presence.

When I say feel like they are closing in: I mean I can literally see them moving: to engulf me.

Stay with me.

To feel safer, I crawl (I am too frightened to stand, in case the ceiling falls on me) to squatting between the door frames.

As if there were an earthquake.

The earthquake is in my mind, of course, but the door frame makes sense right now.

So I sit there for a few moments.

My wiser self (‘he’ who I mentioned) is watching, helpless, but knowing, at the same time.

I pick up my phone that is losing life, but has a thread of strength left.

I send a text.

I send lots of texts.

To everyone.

‘Hello, nothing to worry about (my eternal people pleasing appears to still be alive and kicking) but I am experiencing a significant mental health crisis. I need help’.

I signed it with my full name, as you do.

Stay with me.

A friend who I had met twice, as a friend, who used to be my massage client, ‘happened to be’ in the local area – despite living several hours away.

Another acquaintance who I had had shamanic healing with many years previously (I messaged everyone, remember) also ‘happened to be literally down the road, I’m on my way’.

Another ‘friend’ (complete selfish c*nt) text: ‘take care of yourself Mr VC!’

I never heard from her again.

Wanker.

No-one else replied.

She’s a fraud.

Note it. Note it now… but watch your tendency to focus on the fraud – and not the two warrior brothers who turned up to save you.

Here’s the thing – in your life, younger me – people will let you down.

At the time – you will know know know that you have yourself and yourself alone. This will seem overwhelming. Remember ‘he’ is there… stay with me.

I am going to tell you two things, two apparently contradictory things. The first thing is, as I finish the story: both men turned up on your doorstep at around the same time, that fateful night. Both sat there, being. Just being. Not judging, not rescuing – a presence you needed.

The.

Help.

Did.

Come.

But then… and previously… yes: yes dear me you were so alone.

Watch this:

Alone, alone, lost, alone, crisis, BIG crisis:

Emergency help arrives.

Alone again, alone again, alone again, slightly better, a dip, a relapse: BIG crisis:

Help arrives.

Alone, alone…

I want you to do a really weird thing:

Imagine you are in a gym.

Be alone, lift weight, be alone, lift a bigger weight, almost drop that weight on your… big beefy brother arrives – catches that weight.

Alone… lift the weight… alone…

Oh hang on: I can lift the entire weight.

You can lift that entire weight.

We can lift that entire weight.

The gym was not fun. It sucked. At times we thought we were going to die.

We almost did die.

Several times.

But each time we got back up.

Our muscles had grown.

With the help of ourselves.

And, at rare but necessary times: from our brothers.

I love you, and will see you again real soon.

In Love,

Me xx

PS I get it, I remember it so well: if the penny still isn’t quite dropping: the punchline is: it, does, get better. I love you. Xx

© 2026 Matt Valentine-Chase The Alchemist.