It’s a tricky one, the slump. Especially when I teach alchemy. When I know that true alchemy happens when we sit:
In the fucking slump.
Today I got the slump.
Did I sit in it?
Did I fuck.
Whoops.
I felt unsettled, lost. I walked to the shop, the park, the shop, the park, the chemist.
I was exhausted.
Just walking.
Did I mention I went to the shop?
For hours I was pondering on (which isn’t the same as sitting in) ‘what this is’.
For hours, eight to be precise, I obsessed (no, that’s not sitting either) on ‘why do I feel this way??’
I had palpitations, dry mouth, OMG I am dying.
I had a tight chest, foggy vision OMG I am definitely dying.
I ate.
That was okay. I’m Taurus.
I tried to watch THREE movies – no idea what any of them were about, because I was, er:
Avoiding.
Distracting.
Not sitting:
In the slump.
Then, as nightfall, er: fell.
So did I.
I cried.
I felt the slump.
I mean: felt it.
Then the sitting was dead easy.
And I didn’t die.
I just sat.
The slump is still here, I am sitting in it.
God that’s better.
In love,
The (working on it) Alchemist xx
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